Divorce mediation is something all struggling couples should consider. Instead of using the court systems, divorce mediation is conducted through divorce mediators, whose job it is to help you make the necessary decisions, in a safe and non-judgemental atmosphere. Unlike therapists, divorce mediators are not there to simply repair a relationship, or steer you in a predetermined direction, their job is to facilitate a the critical conversations that must be had so a solution (whatever it may be) can be reached as smoothly as possible. Below are three reasons why divorce mediation has become a popular and practical alternative to the traditional court system.
1. The decisions reached within divorce mediation are more likely to be upheld by the couple: Because the arrangements made using divorce mediation are arrived on through healthy communication, instead of being ordered by a court, the couple will take more stake in seeing them through to fruition. In an article featured in The Guardian, Victoria Scott, a seasoned magistrate and mediator, explains why mediation is the best option for the whole family:
“It’s less confrontational. Courts are, by nature, adversarial. And because they are not very enabling or empowering places either, decisions arrived at after mediation can be more sustainable: the parties have ownership of them, they’ve helped make them. They’re not court orders, handed down from on high. That’s a big difference…Mediation provides long-term solutions, especially for children. Couples sort things out for themselves, within the framework of the law, and the outcomes reflect what they need and want. The whole process is somehow more respectful, and also often more amicable” (www.guardian.co.uk).
2. Divorce Mediation is Faster: Divorce mediation encourages conversation and communication, and therefore provides better results in less time than it takes using the traditional methods. The nature of the court system seems to almost advocate disputes. Both parties, sitting on different sides and with different representation, seems as though they’re preparing for a “battle,” where the best person will “win,” and be granted the arrangement that’s in their favor. This “battle” can drag on when pride intertwines, those involved often losing sight of what’s important or what they originally came there for, and instead becoming consumed with the desire of becoming “victorious.”
The same article from The Guardian, says, ” Mediation..can be a lot quicker: 110 days on average, against nearly 450 for non-mediated separations. Her (Victoria Scott) work is about finding common ground, keeping the channels open: “Taking the emotion out of the communications. Rephrasing. There will always be bitterness, of course. It’s about keeping things moving on'” (www.guardian.co.uk).
3. Divorce Mediation is far less expensive:” Divorce mediation can be tens of thousands of dollars cheaper (and much more effective) than the court system. It therefore saves you money, time, and the disappointment that could result in an arrangement that’s not beneficial for you and your children. Divorce mediator’s rates are usually less than ½ that of two average divorce lawyers, and help you reach a solution within a reasonable amount of time. An excerpt from The Telegraph reads:
” Opting for the mediation route takes a quarter of the time that going through the divorce courts does and can be eight times cheaper” according to the Ministry of Justice. “All too often money is wasted on expensive and traumatic court hearings that can take far too long to resolve,” said Lord McNally, the family justice minister. “And that is why we want to help people to use mediation, a quicker and simpler approach which brings better outcomes” (http://www.telegraph.co.uk).
Though divorcing is never completely stress free, and rarely comes without some sort of difficulties, mediation can greatly decrease the likelihood of these things and can make an inherently unpleasant situation as pleasant as it possibly can be. Save your time, save your money, and channel your energy into a process that will be successful for your entire family.