Being engrossed in your own grief and completely shutting out the rest of the world is never a good idea. The latter is especially damaging if you have children. While a divorce may be extremely devastating for you, you can’t be feeling it more than your kids who have had to watch their beloved parents yell and curse at each other. Many parents are so busy proving each other wrong that they do not even realize the impact their actions have on their children’s tender minds.
Spouses falsely believe that their children are too young to understand the complexity of a marriage on the verge of breaking. What they don’t understand is that their inability to hear their children’s say on the issues actually affects the kid’s mental well-being for life. They feel insignificant and lonely and sometimes even harbor a long-standing resentment against their parents. Their academics, social relationships, and general personality are all affected by this.
In our years of service as family lawyers in Edmonton , we have come across many families that have failed to give their children the required support and attention. In the end, such couples have no choice but to cry over spilt milk as their children gradually detach from them emotionally.
Thus, we would highly recommend that you make the divorce process as simple and easy to digest for your children as possible. While some situations may necessitate you to file for a fault divorce, you must amicably select an alternative dispute resolution method to ensure the process is quick and is the least emotionally traumatic to your kids.
Accordingly, we present this blog post to guide you on how to help your children cope with your divorce.
Talk To Them
Communication is always the key in every relationship. This hypothesis is not only relevant to spousal relationships but also to the bond you have with your children. Keeping them in the dark or believing they do not need to be involved in the matter can significantly hurt the relationship and their emotions. They will take up the perception that their parents are so consumed in their own lives and decisions that they don’t even care about them.
Thus, you must help your children realize that both of you highly value and cherish them and the best way to achieve this goal would be to make them feel important by sharing the situation with them and asking for their opinion. Of course, there are matters that can’t be disclosed to a young mind. Just use your better judgment to draw the line.
Encourage Your Kids To Express Their Feelings
Simply talking to them is not enough on its own. You must encourage them to voice their feelings. According to psychological experts, verbal expression of feelings relieves stress and diminishes the chances of depression. Undeniably parental separation brings immense stress and anxiety to children. You might not be willing to call off the separation so the only thing you can do is encourage your children to talk to you.
Hear out what they think of the situation and try to explain to them why the separation is necessary.
Do Not Fight In Their Presence
While retorts and throwbacks may be a great way to satisfy your ego, they shatter your children’s world of peace and love. Your children look up to you as the most loving and caring people on the planet. How do you think your loud and sometimes violent fights will affect them?
You might not be on good talking terms with each other but you must consider your words and actions for the sake of your children.
Opt For Mediation Services
Teens are often the most sensitive about their public image and that of their families. Thus, they would never want to see their parents blame each other or discuss their family problems in a public trial. Hence, we suggest you opt for a divorce mediation service rather than litigation. Mediation does not only provide more privacy but is also cheaper and quicker.
Read Also: Why Use Mediation?
Work Out The Best Co-Parenting Method
Apart from all the communication and care, your children also crave some reassurance. Thus, you must collectively work with your ex-spouse to work out the best co-parenting method. Don’t forget to ask what suits them. Tell them that things will work out fine in the end and that both of you will do whatever it takes to get the kids’ lives back on track.
About The Divorce Company
We have spent years helping families find smooth, seamless, and stress-free solutions to their disputes. Through our unmatched ADR process and the expertise of our team members, we help couples reach amicable solutions without any hassle. Learn more about The Divorce Company and our team.
Ready to find seamless divorce solutions? Contact us now.