Undeniably, divorce is highly devastating both emotionally and financially. Numerous people remain in shock even for months after the process, while others even end up falling into a state of depression. In the worst-case scenario, ex-spouses who are unable to address the emotional turmoil of handling an unfaithful partner or to deal with the financial consequences of divorce end up committing suicide. According to a study by the Journal Of Family Issues, a recent divorce may increase the chances of suicide by 1.6 times.
Similarly, while there is a widespread belief amongst the public that women are more emotionally affected by a divorce, another study reveals that men are relatively more vulnerable to depression after divorce. Regardless of the fact, as family lawyers, we understand that divorce is certainly an emotional torment for both spouses. However, how you handle the situation and your mental health after the divorce process ends is entirely in your hands.
You are the one to decide whether you want to live the rest of your remaining life sulking in regret or to start afresh and build a new life. Of course, we are not in denial of the fact that recovering from such a huge blow is not easy, but it is not impossible either.
Why should you spend the rest of your life recalling tragic events and inflicting pain on yourself?
Thus, this blog aims to light a candle of hope on this dull path of divorce and reveal the steps you must take after a divorce to get your life back on track.
How To Get Your Life Back On Track
Divorce is not death. Thus, first of all, you must get rid of the feeling that this is the end of your happy life. Every cloud has a silver lining. And the silver lining of your divorce may be that you got rid of an unfaithful partner who would have hurt you again in the future.
The latter takes us to the first step of getting your life back on track:
Get Rid Of The Desperation
As top-rated family lawyers in Edmonton, we get to draft about 8% of the city’s total divorce cases (and that is the maximum any company has reached). Therefore, we have come across a vast number of clients and are fully aware of our client’s thoughts and emotions.
“Maybe we don’t have to separate…”,
“He/she might stay if I just try a bit harder…”,
“I am okay with the wrong doing as long as he/she decides to stay…”
These, amongst other remarks, are the most common feelings of the hurt partner. However, it is not wise for you to stand under a falling roof with the hope that it will stop falling or the fear that you might not find another roof. In the end, the weight of the falling roof will crush you. Similarly, if you insist on staying together regardless of the lack of cooperation from your partner, the weight of the unhappy relationship will crush you mentally.
In the worst cases, some people are even okay with domestic violence. If you show the culprit that you won’t take action, they will become more abusive. Thus, tell yourself that the decision is for your better future.
Make The Divorce Process Itself Smoother
Sometimes, the events of the divorce process are more devastating than the day you finally hold your divorce decree. The latter leaves a negative impact on a sensitive spouse’s mind forever. Thus, despite your conflicts, you must try to make the process easy for both of you. One way to do the latter is by requesting mediation services.
Talk About It
From a psychological point of view, not voicing what is bothering you is one of the biggest reasons behind depression and an eventual emotional breakdown. Therefore you must talk about what is hurting you to your family, friends, or anyone you deem close enough. Such a discussion will not only relieve you of the emotional burden but also clear out your brain of disturbing thoughts.
Busy Yourself In Preparation Of Your New Life
Sometimes, distraction is the best medicine for emotional pain. Busy yourself in looking for a job (if you don’t have one) and layout plans on how you are going to deal with your finances on your own. But remember not to pressurize yourself with your finances either.
Let Go Of The Pain
Finally, letting go of the past is the best way forward. Thus, you must try by all means to forget about the pain. Remember, recalling the pain is the same as putting yourself through it again. Hence, it is best to just let it go.