It is possible for children to live happily, thrive, and to emerge from a divorce with minimal impact on their self esteem, a positive value system, belief that they deserve to be happy and are lovable, and on their ability to form and keep relationships.
But this doesn’t happen automatically, or by default. It requires work – and a lot of it.
Your children don’t need you and your spouse to fight over them – what they do need is for you to STOP fighting. You need to remember that there is life after divorce, and sorting out your custody battle amicably will certainly improve your children’s quality of life. Arguing about them constantly will only push them away.
Luckily, statistics seem to show that children report that their parents get along better after the divorce than during the latter part of their marriage. Here are things your children need, regardless of age:
- Unconditional love and acceptance
- At least one actively involved parent
- To know (and to really believe) that it is not their fault
- To be allowed to love both parents